"Catching the Stream" hits (theoretical) bookshelves

The boys down at Bill's Café all wanted to talk at once about the latest news from Ironwood County. The rumors had proved true: author John Schreiber had indeed written another book about their county, and it was available just about anyplace books could be purchased. The title is Catching the Stream.

"Just be glad," George Thompson said, "that the bookstore in Rochester closed. They always had his books, but folks can't find it there no more."

"Well," Bill himself injected, "not too many people read books anymore either, so they're not about to search this one out."

"But I hear," George Thompson said, "that some locals are mentioned."

"Don't worry about that," Bill replied. "Schreiber always changes the names. Only we know who we are. The book tells how Matthew Blake found out the truth behind the Dixon's kid's death."

"You mean it wasn't a drink and drive accident?" George said.

"Don't you keep up on anything?" Bill asked.

"Guess not," George said, and scratched his chin. "Hm. Maybe I better read the book. Should I ask to see if the library will get one in?"

"Don't you even think about that," Bill said. "Any sale will just encourage Schreiber to write another book about us."

Joe Johnson sipped his coffee. "So what's the big deal if Schreiber wrote a book about the county? As you said, no one reads books anymore, and he changes the names anyway."

"It's the idea," George Thompson said. "Ain't we got a right to privacy?"

Ironwood County in News Again

After a quiet spring and summer, something local residents prize, Ironwood County blasts across the news feeds of at least a three-county radius because infamous author John Schreiber is publishing his seventh novel in late August, the fourth to focus on the quietest county in Minnesota.

The Boys down at Bill's Café reportedly shook their heads at the news and returned to their coffee cups. Bill himself hung a sign in his window: "No picture-taking by tourists allowed."

Local librarian legend "Miss Agatha" told a Dodge County reporter, "I've burned his other books. If that new one comes across this desk, I'll burn it too."

When reached by phone, John Schreiber (presumably) shrugged and said, "All my books are works of fiction. All characters are composites. I have no idea why anyone would be upset."

Clearly, the residents in Ironwood County find that his fiction hits too close to home.

Fall arrives in Ironwood County

Leaves are turning the maple trees in Ironwood County and, due to the early frost, apples have all been picked. School is in full swing with fall plays and football games. Many local schools are experimenting with increased technology for students, but long-time residents still just want their children to read and write better, along with a greater understanding of mathematics. Technology never seems to help those areas much. Accept pruf-reading.

Minnesota writer, John Schreiber, promises another book in his Ironwood County novels in 2015. Locals are already worried who will appear in his so-called "chronicles." Fortunately he changes the names to protect residents, but we all know whom he means.

Mid-term elections are approaching with another flurry of attack ads. Most people would just like their government to do as little as possible--unless it means better roads. That means we can look forward to more divided government--that's the best way to keep those lawyers from making more laws.

Until you read the next news flash from Ironwood County, go for a drive in the colorful Minnesota fall and stop by an apple orchard.

Spring finally coming to Ironwood County

Spring has finally come to Ironwood County and there is no longer any snow in a long-range weather forecast. 'Nuff said.

The Not-Affordable Care Act

Christmas was quiet in Ironwood County--just as everyone wishes it. The cold snap has descended onto the Midwest with little hope of lifting for the new year. However, colder yet is what the government has done to much of southeastern Minnesota--allowing insurance companies to dump the highest rates in the Midwest onto a handful of counties.

Jack Kiln, resident and armchair politician, spouted off about it at Bill's Café on Monday. Andrew Johanson, newly retired local newspaper editor, was there to capture his comments:

"The “Affordable” care act has marched directly into the same bureaucratic swamp where the No Child Left Behind act disappeared. Both are excellent, simple ideas that bureaucrats who do not understand real-world living conditions twisted into a Gordian knot. These people—legislators on down—do not understand because they have always had a well-funded health plan handed to them.

"Notice that I’m not talking about website fiascoes or President Obama’s rule-changing, but the legislation itself. If someone had been covered under an insurance plan of any sort—even catastrophic—why did the law make anyone change in the first place? Isn’t the idea that everyone should have insurance, not legislate what type of insurance an individual should have? If people don’t feel that they need or want chemical dependency coverage, for example, why mandate it?  Ah, the knot begins to form . . .

"Secondly, the legislation requires employers to provide group insurance. Why? Thee are many ways to ensure that people are covered. For example, if a company wishes to provide money for workers to buy their own individual insurance (called an HRA), why does the government care so long as individuals have insurance? Isn’t that what the tax penalties are for? The knot gets every bigger . . .

"Next. Where’s family insurance in this legislation? Single coverage is mandated. Family coverage is not. Previously, a family was covered either by a family policy taken out by the family itself or, most likely, through an employer. Now, however, the family rates are going up (as are the single rates) to pay for mandates, and yet only single is required by the employer. Hm. Employers know finances, even if the bureaucrats don’t. Put the benefit dollars into the single plans. Let the families fend for themselves. That’s what the government has done.

"So, for any family who is lower-middle class, that family probably qualifies for a subsidy. The best option is for one (or both) wage earners to take the company’s paid insurance for the single and put children on the exchange where they can get free health insurance.

"Does this make sense? Previously, families covered themselves through the employer or their own resources; now they are financially rewarded for tossing their kids onto public subsidies.

"I am not making this up. This “solution” has appeared in various publications and on several health care websites. The bureaucrats’ rationale is that now all children are covered—even those who previously didn’t have insurance.

"Now we see the heart of the knot—a good idea corrupted by details, proving, once again, the old adage that the “Devil is in the details.” How does this happen? Details destroyed No Child Left Behind—sledgehammers were legislated where a scalpel was required. Why? Because the government uses top-down legislation rather than foster bottom-up solutions.

"As always, there is only one way of getting out of a Gordian knot—cutting it—which will prove nearly impossible because Republicans have failed to find another solution to the health care crisis and Democrats are afraid to lose face and fix the Affordable Care Act.

"Because of an unwillingness in both parties to fix it , we might end up with what no one wanted—a government-run, rationed health care system."

Finally done with his tirade, Jack Kiln sat back and drank his hot chocolate. The boys at the café nodded and refilled their coffee. Most had no clue what he had said.

MNsure's Babe the Blue Ox Drops Excrement onto Southeastern Minnesota

Ironwood County, like the rest of the counties in southeastern Minnesota, has been written off by insurance companies, as evidenced by the recent MNsure site revelations. Higher insurance rates and few offerings are what every resident in SE MN can look forward to under the new "affordable care act." The boys at Bill's Café (those who understand it) had more than a few words to say about this development.

Jack Kiln was particularly incensed. "I know this doesn't affect everyone at this table," he said, "but it makes it a lot more expensive to live here, and if you look deeper into the actual rates that are filed with the state, they're a lot higher than are listed on the 'what you'll pay' page."

"I don't understand," said Bill. "Can't I keep my current insurance?"

"Only if your plan goes back more than a few years."

Bill scratched his head. "Hm. I raised my deductible last year."

"Then, as a sole proprietor of a business, you'll probably have to go to the exchange, or get a policy that's virtually identical from an agent."

"Then you're saying that I have only one choice of a plan from one company in Ironwood County?"

"Yes," said Kiln, "unless something changes quickly."

Joe Johnson leaned on the table, intrigued. "But what about other counties in southern Minnesota? Are we all written off?"

"Not all, but it's not much better. Some of them have two companies offering a plan. But even those plans are more expensive than anywhere else in Minnesota."

"Hold on on minute," Bill said, now irate. "You're saying that if I move to Rice County, let's say, a few miles away into south-central Minnesota, that I can get a better rate?"

"Yes," Kiln said. "Same plan. Same doctors. Less cost."

"So why are we getting ripped off?"

"No one's giving an answer," Kiln said. "All we know is that Ironwood and other counties are the pariahs of the state."

"Isn't this supposed to be fair and affordable health care?" Joe asked.

"Fair for some," Kiln said.

"Ain't we all one state?" Bill asked. "Isn't this MNsure--not 'Let's cut the counties up for the insurance companies'?

"All I know is that it is far more expensive in SE MN than anywhere else in the state," Kiln said.

Bill scratched his head again. "So MNsure's Babe the Blue Ox dropped a big pile of excrement onto SE Minnesota."

"Yep," said Kiln.

Summer arrives in Ironwood

News from Ironwood has been scarce this spring. Farmers are frustrated with continual rain and everyone is frustrated with the unusually cold weather. However, summer is finally here and the apples have blossomed. Some bees managed to find the apple blossoms despite the continual rainy spells.

Now that the blossoms have fallen, Ironwood County organic apple growers have put out the codling moth traps. It's an old Minnesota recipe that puts a banana peel, a cut of sugar, and a cup of apple cider vinegar in the plastic milk jug that is then filled the rest of the way with water. The experts hang one per tree and keep it there for a few weeks. They try to keep the hole large enough to attract the moths but  small to keep butterflies from entering the trap as well.

After that they start putting apple footies on the apples to prevent apple maggots from destroying the crop. They say the maggots start appearing around July 1, so there isn't a big rush. Once the footies are on, they take the coddling moth traps down. By then the moths have quit laying eggs (for the most part)  and the apples will be good until harvest.